“As George the POTUS
I gathered y’all before us”

Began the lord-high commander in chief
Around him seated advisors who shared his beliefs

“Afghanistan?
Afghanistan?
Why Afghanistan?

My daddy wants us to go back
Y’all need to find a way into Iraq

How can I use this to make an end
Oh I sure do mean to get my man
I’ve got over a half-million Army men
I only need an excuse to go get my Saddam

I need a plan
Can we implicate Iran?

I’ll need some kinda jump in logic
I got find somethin’ big or symbolic

My daddy wants us to go back
Y’all need to find a way into Iraq

He’s walled in and barricaded
We can say they harbor Al-Quaeda

Oh, why can’t I catch my Saddam
We’ll say we’re freeing people from a madman

I lie in bed with a broken heart at night
We can pretend to care about human rights

I Need to find a connection
What about weapons inspections?
Our teams met only rejection,
I don’t think there’s been any detection.

For Weapons of Mass destruction,
we’ll say we need pre-emptive protection

Yes! This is something I can use!
My friends, we have found an excuse

Yes we’ll plan an invasion!
It’ll be the season’s sensation!

We’ll have guys and gals
In line from Basra to Irbil

Marching all in time
The world’s largest Chorus line!

I’ll pull out all the stops, make a great big show
It’ll be the best invasion that history’s ever known

It’ll be a big one
Twice what Daddy did in ninety-one

I’ll call it shock and awe
That’ll get the approval of my pa

This I can use to make my ends
Oh, I sure do mean to get my man
I’ve got over a half-million Army men
I only need an excuse to go get my Saddam

Oh, Baby I got a plan
I don’t need that dirty old Afghanistan…